My New Best Friend

I'm bored. That has been my motto for the past three years. Here I am in Wichita, Kansas working on my Masters Degree in Horn performance and I am bitching about not having enough to do. I know, it makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. My first semester I watched A LOT of T.V.. In all fairness, it was the first time that I had access to cable television since MTV got taken away for filling my head with all sorts of suggestive messages. Second semester...what did I do second semester? I think that was when I played poker all night and ventured into the wonderful world of beer. It is soooo good. Cave Creek Chili Beer is nooooo good though. I can't remember what I did to fill my time last year. Hmmm. Thinking.....thinking.....thinking......GOT IT. That was the year I got calendar raped by my boss. When I wasn't at school I was at work. And when I was supposed to be at school I was at work. When I should have been sleeping I was at work, and when I was supposed to be practicing guess where I was-at work. I don't seem to have that particular problem lately. Hehehe. Now it is a new problem. "Mom, I'm bored." (you just gotta say in that 2 year old turned 25 whiney voice that all children no matter what the age can master) I could practice. But I do a lot of that as it is. So what do I do when I am not practicing or in rehearsal or teaching lessons? I don't know. The last few days I have been working on a story. It's quite a bit of fun and OMG relaxing for the most part. You can view the star of my latest creation below. (Hint: his name is Samuel and he is a porcupine) I know I am not even close to a good artist, but I thought he turned out kind of cute. A little strung out looking, YES. But cute nonetheless. (Jeffery thinks he looks like a big old nasty juicy bug that went splat on the window of a car traveling 65 MPH)

Call me Ted

Just saranwrap my boobs down, give me a pair of tube socks, and call me Ted. I am becoming a man. That's what I have decided. I think it will make things a whole lot easier. I suppose a majority of you all are scritching your heads saying to yourselves WTF? Today I picked up my car at Nail's Automotive. And I got dicked over. Partially because I am a pushover and partly because I come complete with a 38D rack and vagina. I quit. I never really believed that the world was still a man's world after all this time. I can say for certain that in the world of automotive jazz a woman will still get taken advantage of, weather it be at the dealership, the bank getting a car loan, or at the mechanic. It is so frustrating. How is it possible that women still put up with this, though I suppose I am not one to talk since I let it happen to me. When I saw the bill and all the stuff they did to my car that I specifically said no to I should have just told them "Thank you for your generosity in being very thorough with my car, but I did not authorize these repairs and I am simply not going to pay for something that I said no to." But I didn't. Yes, I questioned it. And you know what his answer was? "The work has already been done, and I just didn't want a purdy little lady to get stranded somewhere." Pardon the following language, but FUCK YOU. I'm done with my feminist rant. Thanks for listening. I guess I will probably just save the tube socks and saranwrap for special occasions. P.S. Does anyone have any men's underwear? I don't know that my lady drawers can accommodate a pair of tube socks.

Tryptophan Induced Coma

I know I gave mom a ton of shit over the years for buying all of her groceries for Thanksgiving in like September. I realize why she was Miss prepared now. I decided against my better judgment to go to Wal-Mart on Wednesday night and get the things I needed for the feast. NEVER AGAIN. At least not sober. It was a complete clusterfuck of shopping carts and people staring at pie crusts and no one making any sort of swift decision. The only place of refuge in the entire store was the aisle of baby diapers. Sanctuary, sweet sanctuary. Not a single other cart in the aisle! Whew.

So, Thanksgiving this year was a bit different. This was the first year I haven't gone home to Minnesota. So sad. I had quite an eventful day here in Kansas though with some friends.

David made the turkey... He is my personal hero for ramming his hand in there to dig out the grossness that lives packaged inside of a turkey. Look ma, no meat touching gloves for him!

Here it is all rubbed with herbs and butter and cider vinegar goodness!

All the food is in the oven. What on earth are we going to do to entertain ourselves until it's done. Watch football? Hell no! We neti potted our noses under the guidance of the neti pot master ( I don't think he appreciated the flash on the camera....yeah....thats it)


Greta thinks we are all fools. (Or she may be depressed since she is all dressed up in her chefs hat but we won't let her help in the kitchen.)

Davids turn for the neti pot (He kind of reminds me of my dad in this picture. Weird.)

With a helping hand from the master neti potter David gets his sinuses flushed out.

Mmmmmm Turkey's done. Look at that tasty bird! I don't think it needs any more drippings though. (Hahaha drippings-David's nose)

Wichita Thanksgiving weather is perfect for dining outdoors. I have never eaten Thanksgiving on such a beautiful day.

The menu:

Appetizers
Crackers
Cheese
Dip
Shrimp and Cocktail Sauce
Main Course
Turkey
Mashed Potatoes
Gravy
Green Bean Casserole
Homemade Stuffing
Corn Hotdish
Sweet Potatoes
Dessert
Pumpkin Pie x2
Chess Pie
Chocolate Chess Pie
Banana Pudding
Cheesecake

The coma begins to set in

After we regain some strength and are able to pull ourselves off the deck we play with kitties.
This one is Socks. He is known for his super soft long fur, dingleberries, and some tude. We still love him lots though.

This is Mickey. The newest addition to the list of pets that other people have but secretly I want to steal for my own.

















Back at the ranch. You wanna come over? You sure? If we don't make you neti pot we are going to put in the uncomfortable position of cleaning out your ears. Just lay still while I wedge a wax ear candle in your head and light it on fire.






















Ack! What a mess. Thanks Greta for cleaning up everything!

Eureka!

I've done it! I am officially a genius. As a Thanksgiving present for Katie, I have come up with the design for the toilet paper/paper towel tube party deck for the house on Holyoke. Notice the attention to detail. YES- I know it is about 1 year too late, but the dream will NEVER DIE. Muhaaa (Evil Laugh in a much deeper voice than I can actually create). If I missed any details of utmost importance please feel free to contact me so that I may make the changes in the final draft before I contact Mr. Hefley and haul all of my toilet paper tube stash over to the house.




HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO EVERYONE OUT THERE IN CYBERSPACE (I'M NOT YELLING...I'M JUST REALLY EXCITED ABOUT THIS ARCHITECTURAL DRAFT)

Yuppies!? Part Deux

I was just thinking that wouldn't it be wonderful if instead of yuppies, I attracted puppies? Oh, that would just be peachy...to be surrounded by little puppies who loved you and wagged their tails on you and licked you. Oooooohh, warm fuzzies!

Yuppies!?

What type of person do you attract? Your Result: You attract Yuppies! You attract the very well-dressed, job oriented type of people. They usually have their finances together, are 'middle of the road' on most topics, generally happy with the 'main-stream' of things. If it is stability you are after, these are good people to attract, if you seek adventure, it may be time for an overhaul.
You attract geeks!
You attract artsy people!
You attract models!
You attract unstable people!
You attract rednecks!
What type of person do you attract? Quizzes for MySpace

Does this mean I am a snob? I hope not. If I am TELL ME!!! When the quiz says that I attract yuppies is this to mean that the men I attract are yuppies or just people in general? Hmmm. What to think? I don't want to be a yuppie. I wanna be cool, fun, dorky, and just plain kick ass. (Last 2 sentences work better if you picture me throwing myself down in the aisle of the supermarket screeching my head off like mom wont buy me candy.)More importantly does anyone really think that this is the correct definition of yuppie? I'm not so sure. From what they say I get the vision of the average middleclass American. Not the "how's my jig line? Wine sipping, socialite that I envision a yuppie to be. I would love to entertain anyone's thoughts on this most important of issues.

Linguistically Challenged

According to the world I talk funny. Here is a running list of all those words that make people around me smile and do a double take.

Bag--everyone loves that one
Tent
Pen
Dragon
Talk
Walk
Gawk
Folk
Ford (especially in combination with the word Focus! Just ask Katie.)
Car
Etude

The list continues on and on, but you get the idea. Every single day someone points out a word that I am asked to repeat for their own enjoyment. Sadly I comply every single time, as I am a bit slow and have yet to catch on to this gentle teasing. I guess it's a great thing that I am not going into radio or television. Cause no one would understand me and small children would point their fingers at the screens and laugh.

Minnesota Eh?

Keeping true to my roots, even after 2 1/2 years!

What American accent do you have? Your Result: North Central "North Central" is what professional linguists call the Minnesota accent. If you saw "Fargo" you probably didn't think the characters sounded very out of the ordinary. Outsiders probably mistake you for a Canadian a lot.
The Inland North
The West
The Midland
The South
Boston
The Northeast
Philadelphia
What American accent do you have?

Taco Bueno News Flash

I saw the sign and immediately thought of Katie. Tamales are now back at Taco Bueno. I distinctly remember her telling me to try them cause of their yummy factor. Now I can! YAY!

Today was quite a wonderful fall day, and I thought what better day than today to hang my drooly pillows out to get some sun and good earthly freshness. (Yes, I can admit that I drool on my pillows something fierce.) I never thought twice about hanging clothes out on the line, but now I think I will have to re-evaluate because a bird pooped on my pillow. Yup, now in addition to delightful fall smells and drool stains there is a festive streak of bird poop. (Gee, I hope it doesn't eat away at the fibers of my pillow! AHAHAHA)