Spanxgiving

I'm going to be blunt here. This Thanksgiving and Holiday season in general sucks. It seems like I have always worked on holiday's. That's not the problem. Now, I just don't have anywhere to go or anyone to spend the holidays with. All my friends are away with their families. And my family is far away. Working holidays doesn't suck quite as bad when you can at least go home to a left over plate of mom's turkey and stuffing. Tonight I will get off of work and go home to a can of Campbells vegetable soup. I tried to think that today is just Thursday. Not Thanksgiving, just a Thursday. It worked for about 5 min. Then I got to work and the whole airport is full of people running to family and laughing and smiling. My counter is not a very happy place. Out of the 6 people I rented cars to today 4 of them were nasty to me. I am used to the bitchy customers and the ones who think the world stops for them. But I am NOT in the mood for crap today. If you give me guff I WILL send you away without a car. Don't think I won't because I already did to a customer. I don't care if you call customer service and tell them that I was not accommodating. That's B.S. and that lady can kiss my ass. I was pleasant and nice to her for the first 15 min. then I lost it and took the keys to my van out of her hand and told her that she should look for a car elsewhere. I know. Bitch, bitch, bitch. That's all I do is complain. Well, deal with it. I'm getting old and bitter. Look out Maxine, I am ready to give you a run for your money.

Promise

I may be pegged as a feminist for buying myself a "right hand" ring, but who the hell cares. I like to think of my new bling as a promise ring. The best part about this promise ring is that I don't have to rely on anyone else to keep a promise. It is a promise that I have made to myself.

I promise to never give up on myself or my dreams,
to love myself, to work hard for the things I believe in,
and to be better than I was the day before.

Life is short.
Break the rules, forgive quickly,
kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably,
and never regret anything that made me smile.

That is my promise.

Good Times

I've been busy! After many many weeks and a few unsatisfying jobs I finally have something that is worth hanging onto for awhile. I now realize that being in school full time really wasn't as time consuming as I once thought. In undergrad my theory teacher Dr. Wegren said that once you leave school you will be busier than you have ever been. I didn't believe him, and I should have. Working full time at the airport keeps a person busy enough. On top of that I have the exciting privilege of playing with Wichita Grand Opera, the Wichita Professional Wind Ensemble, teaching some wonderful kids, and my newest horn playing endeavor-Assistant Horn for the Wichita Symphony (1 year position). All that tends to keep a girl out of trouble! It is also good for my bank account. I never have time to spend any money and everything I do tends to give me some sort of income.

I am absolutely stoked to be playing with the Wichita Symphony this year! I can't even describe the feeling I had at the audition. It was unreal...a sort of quite calm confidence. Totally unlike the doubt that usually consumes me day in and day out. Of course the audition wasn't perfect and there are things I wish I could have done better. But for me I just wanted to play a damn good audition...I wanted to play like I know I can play...Like I play when I think no one is listening. I came pretty darn close to that on Wednesday night. The mistakes I made just rolled off and didn't affect the next note or phrase. I never snowballed into an uncontrollable mess. I was in complete control the entire time. It may have been the most intense musical moment of my life thus far.

So, all is well in the world of Amanda. I just need to figure out what I am going to do next. I kind of want to just sit and hang out doing what I am doing for awhile. But alas, the only thing that is constant in the world is change and I will be ready for the next change whenever it comes my way or whenever I decide to make it so.